Oscar Campos

Raising Men: From Fathers to Sons: Life Lessons from Navy SEAL Training

These book notes are for me and may not make 100% sense to you as the reader. I have found this book to be super helpful, its made me more mindful of my actions or lack there of. Buy it from Amazon or ThirftBooks

Building a Team

Debrief One

  1. What parenting paradigm have you found irrelevant or ineffective?
    1. Using fear and because I said so
  2. Who are you being coached or trained by? How is that helping or hurting your ability to be a dad?
    1. At this time I don't have a
  3. Name at least one ineffective parenting technique you have used and how you will change it
  4. When you disciplined your son, was it ineffective?
  5. When have you admitted you were wrong?
  6. Are you humble and good at getting help? Or are you arrogant?
  7. Have you taught him how to get help?
  8. Have you shown him what good help is?

Keep Up

Debrief Two

  1. Are there any areas of your son's life that you have fallen behind? School, friends, employment?
  2. What coaches are influencing your children besides you?
  3. How consistent are you with your parenting?
  4. How good is your son at accepting correction?
  5. How does your consistency or lack of affect his ability to accept correction?

Hesitation Kills

Debrief Three

  1. In times of trouble, are your actions quick, precise and swift? Or do you panic?
  2. In times of trouble, are your kids' actions quick, precise and swift? Or do they panic? (Practice)
  3. Do you practice IADS (Immediate Action Drills)?
    1. Which do you have in place?
    2. Which do you need to put in place?
  4. Do you address their good and bad behavior?
    1. In the moment or do you hesitate? (Give 3 examples)
  5. When you address a bad behavior, would your son describe you as kind and encouraging?
  6. Does he take what you say to heart?
  7. Does he look forward to future learning opportunities? Why or why not?

Mind over Matter

Debrief Four

  1. What does mental toughness mean to you?
  2. What is something your son has failed at because he couldn't bare the mental discomfort of it?
  3. What is something you've succeeded at regardless of the discomfort?
  4. How do you build up your son's mental toughness?
  5. Create a list of things you dislike to do as a father. Explain how both you and your son benefit from doing those things
  6. What are some ways you turned bad or negative situations into pleasurable ones
  7. How does shifting your focus outward help you better enjoy life?
    1. How does this connect to creating passion?
    2. How can you teach this to your son?
  8. Are you good at self regulating?
    1. How can you get better?
    2. Have you taught your son to self regulate?

Beating vs Winning

Debrief Five

  1. What's the difference between beating someone and winning?
  2. What are the skills or capacities that you want your son to win at life?
  3. What is the purpose of a participation award? How can you use it?
  4. How do you celebrate life's failures in your family and use them for the collective growth?
  5. Are you good at failing? Why or why not/
  6. How many times have you failed at something before you give up?
  7. Are you showing your kids how to be exceptional or extraordinary?

Constant Growth

Debrief Six

  1. What are you better at today than you were a year ago?
  2. What challenges have you overcome to reach a goal?
  3. What challenges have stopped you from reaching a goal?
  4. What personal limits are you currently stretching?
  5. Are you confident or arrogant? why?
  6. Do you pursue comfort or purpose?
  7. Do you currently train in any discipline? How has that affected your confidence?
  8. In what training is your son engaged in that will build his confidence?


Debrief Seven

  1. List the bad habits you have when not mentally or physically stimulated enough
  2. List your son's bad habits when he is not mentally or physically stimulated enough
  3. Do you accept that physical fitness is critical to a good life?
  4. How much exercise do you do per week?
  5. Wht are your go to activities after work or the weekends?
  6. In what way are you setting an example to your son regarding physical fitness?
  7. What physical activities have you done with your son that has created bonds?
  8. What areas of your or his life are affected by lack of stimulation (physical/intellectual)?
  9. What will be the next physical activity you will do with your son?


Debrief Eight

  1. How did you feel about avoiding a first fight before this chapter? How do you feel about it after?
  2. List the 4 things that someone should do before defending themselves physically?
  3. Define Power
  4. List the 5 phases of a fight
    1. describe how your son should defend themselves fro a bully at school
  5. Describe how those phases can give him power or confidence
  6. How do you handle a bully? How do you handle someone who cuts you off? Or someone who yells at you?

Do Shit

Debrief Nine

  1. In what ways are you a paper dad?
  2. Do you lift your kids over life's obstacles or do you allow them to handle it on their own?
  3. What are some ways you've hampered his growth by supporting him to much?
  4. If your relationship fades, what will you do to get it back?


Don't be right, be effective.

We are a team, don't focus on who messed up. Let's fix it and move on.

Ask why twice, then ask how.

Learn, Practice, Experience, Repeat

Your kids' bad behavior is a response to your bad parenting

Mind over matter, if you don't mind it doesn't matter

Enjoy the small moments

Never stop learning

Really go out there, put it all on the line, be unstoppable

Parenting is forever